Arrests after match ends in chaos

Marshbank Allstars

Geffrin Tusks

A fine match between the Geffrin Tusks and the Marshbank Allstars nearly ended in disaster after a barrel of apples was rolled onto the pitch  Up until then the Geffrin Tusks had been in the lead, mostly due to the action of their new midfielder Spot, who was pushing both Dave the Hammer and Thunder aside as easily as if they’d been a couple of chickens.  By half-time Geffrin were leading 14:2 and it seemed that nothing could prevent them from winning.  However, shortly into the second half began, an enormous barrel of apples was rolled onto the pitch from the Marshbanks end.  It broke open, spilling its contents across a swathe of grass.  This distracted the mammoths who quickly forgot about the ball and instead began scrapping over the fruit.  Dave the Hammer and Thunder even locked tusks and had to be separated by their trainer.  After which, much to the disappointment of the crowd, it was decided on safety grounds to discontinue the match.


Shortly afterwards two men were arrested by the Royal Guard and locked up.  a spokesman for the Royal Guard said he wasn’t sure what law they’d broken, but they’d spoiled an afternoon’s entertainment for a lot of people and he was sure he’d think of something.  The manager of Marshbanks Allstars, Thomas Boatman, said that he deplored their action and wanted to stress that most Marshbanks fans were law abiding.  It’s not known if the match will be replayed, or if victory will be given to Geffrin Allstars.



Dave the Hammer


Count Geffrin

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