Ransom Note Recieved

Sources within the Royal Guard have disclosed that a ransom note was received yesterday.  It had been nailed to the barrack door and read, ‘leave twenty gold crowns in a bag by the old standing stone on Tuesday  or the mammoth gets it.’  It was signed the Red Shawl Gang, although it is unusual for the Red Shawl Gang to deliver messages in this way.  Our source told us it was too early to say whether the note really came from the Red Shawl Gang or was written by an imposter.  If it was, the consequences for that person may be too terrible to contemplate.

Mystery into Missing Mammoth Deepens

Mystery into missing mammoth deepens

Late yesterday a report was received by the Constabulary that  a large mammoth had  been seen, near Silverhowe, accompanied by a woman wearing a red shawl.   Sources within the Royal Guard confirmed that there is a possibility Thunder has been kidnapped by the notorious Red Shawl Gang, which has plagued the Northern Mountains for more than twenty years,  Anyone with information on the whereabouts of the Red Shawl Gang is urged to come forward.

Missing Mammoth Mystery

Missing Mammoth Mystery

Thunder, Marshbank Allstars best known player has disappeared.  His shocked trainer, Mr Gabriel Sebow, told how this morning he’d found the door to Thunder’s stall had been forced and the mammoth gone.  Close to tears Mr Sebow appealed for Thunder’s safe return.  “He’s like one of the family,” he said, “I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to him.”  Members of the public have been asked to watch out for Thunder, who is unusually large, has black hair and a scar above his right eye.  A substantial reward has been offered for information leading to his safe return.  Meanwhile the investigating constable, G C Loveday refused to comment on speculation that his disappearance may be connected to the disruption of the match against Geffrin Tusks last week.

Arrests after match ends in chaos

Marshbank Allstars

Geffrin Tusks

A fine match between the Geffrin Tusks and the Marshbank Allstars nearly ended in disaster after a barrel of apples was rolled onto the pitch  Up until then the Geffrin Tusks had been in the lead, mostly due to the action of their new midfielder Spot, who was pushing both Dave the Hammer and Thunder aside as easily as if they’d been a couple of chickens.  By half-time Geffrin were leading 14:2 and it seemed that nothing could prevent them from winning.  However, shortly into the second half began, an enormous barrel of apples was rolled onto the pitch from the Marshbanks end.  It broke open, spilling its contents across a swathe of grass.  This distracted the mammoths who quickly forgot about the ball and instead began scrapping over the fruit.  Dave the Hammer and Thunder even locked tusks and had to be separated by their trainer.  After which, much to the disappointment of the crowd, it was decided on safety grounds to discontinue the match.


Shortly afterwards two men were arrested by the Royal Guard and locked up.  a spokesman for the Royal Guard said he wasn’t sure what law they’d broken, but they’d spoiled an afternoon’s entertainment for a lot of people and he was sure he’d think of something.  The manager of Marshbanks Allstars, Thomas Boatman, said that he deplored their action and wanted to stress that most Marshbanks fans were law abiding.  It’s not known if the match will be replayed, or if victory will be given to Geffrin Allstars.



Dave the Hammer


Count Geffrin

Tension mounts ahead of Saturday’s Game

The keenly anticipated match between Geffrin Tusks and Marshbank Allstars will take place despite apples laced with sleeping medicine having been found at Geffrin Tusk’s training ground.  Security has been increased, with the Constabulary augmented by a detachment of Royal Guard under the direct command of Count Geffrin himself.   An illegal gambling ring is thought to be behind the attack although action by Marshbank Allstars fans angry after their disqualification last season has not been ruled out.  Marshbank Allstars are expected to field a strong team with Dave the Hammer and Thunder both likely to play, but most of the attention will be on Geffrin Tusk’s new midfielder, Spot, rumoured to be the heaviest mammoth ever to play.